SO, had two conversations yesterday with women we train. The first talk turned to youth sports as the women have young children doing everything from flag football to soccer, basketball, dance, baseball and lacrosse. The second talk was pretty much about the first one. Didn’t take long in the first talk to get on the subject of obnoxious parents. The more we talked, the more irritated I got. My facial expressions, after hearing some of their stories, must have been good because they each got a nice laugh. One even prompted me to, “Get on your soap box! Where’s the soapbox!”

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Yes folks, I do have a soap box my youngest daughter made me a few years ago. And, yes I will get on it from time to time to wax poetic about some issue I see within youth training, athletics and sports.

That said, no soap box today. But, I’m sure I’ll have one on this subject sometime soon. Until then here are a 40 things I have to say obnoxious sports parents.

You might just might be an obnoxious youth sports parent if you’ve ever found yourself:

1.     Looking at your child’s opponents, and thinking, “Ahh yeah. We can beat this team.”

2.     Looking at your child’s opponents, and thinking, “Ahh yeah. We’re getting our asses kicked.”

3.     Comparing your child’s athletic feats to another child’s athletic feats.

4.     Making excuses for why your child’s team didn’t play well.

5.     Coaching from the sidelines or the stands.

6.     Writing an email to the league board complaining about your child’s playing time.

7.     Complaining to other parents about the coach instead of taking issues directly to the coach.

8.     Keeping your child in one sport all year.

9.     Allowing a youth league the power that makes you keep your child in that sport all year.

10.  Losing a game then complaining so much to the youth league board that they schedule another game.

11.  Not wanting your young athlete to make a mistake.

12.  Forgetting that your child is FAR from being a professional.

13.  Treating your child differently after wins and losses.

14.  Scouting next week’s opponent for your 8-year-old’s flag football game.

15.  Pressuring your child to achieve athletic feats that you never could.

16.  With unrealistic expectations for your child.

17.  Fighting a referee.

18.  Fighting an opposing coach.

19.  Fight at any youth sporting event.

20.  Scouting other teams for the best players and trying to convince the parents to move their child to your child’s team.

21.  You give winning a bigger priority than your child’s health.

22.  Undermining the wishes or instructions of the coach.

23.  Never volunteering your time to coach.

24.  Going to work happier after your child’s team wins or sad/depressed after your child’s team loses.

25.  Bragging about your young athlete’s accomplishments.

26.  Paying for or bribing your athlete for scores, hits, steals, tackles, aces, yards, 3-pointers and more.

27.  Only talking about sports outcomes.

28.  Tailgating like you’re at an SEC football game.

29.  Less effective at controlling your emotions than your child is at controlling his or hers.

30.  Letting your young athlete take off practice time or part of practice time because, “I don’t like doing those drills.”

31.  Flipping through photos of your child, and EVERY SINGLE PHOTO has something to do with sports.

32.  Judging your parental acumen on your child’s athletic ability.

33.  Still talking about the game or meet an hour after your athlete stopped competing.

34.  Conspiring to get a coach fired – yet you’re not volunteering.

35.  Not playing with your athlete.

36.  Ending or creating extra drama in relationships because your athlete’s team got beat by your friend’s athlete’s team.

37.  Failing to relate what happens within the context of the sporting event to life situations.

38.  Not letting your athlete take age-appropriate responsibility for his or her sports.

39.  Shining laser pointers into the eyes of your child’s opponents. … On second thought, you’re just an ass for that.

40.  Flashed your bare breasts to a group of 11-year-old boys to distract them so your son’s team would win.

I’m sure there are many more, but I only had five minutes to think of these.